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The Corinthian: The Journal of Student Research at Georgia College
course, I’d forgotten by the time I got out. I had to shower three times that day
just for one joke.
You know, I feel like some of my jokes are really a lot funnier than
other ones. Like, what do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, because
he’s not coming either way. That’s a hilarious joke. But I really didn’t want to do
a routine of one-liners. My initial goal was to write one story that kept getting
off track, but ultimately everything was intertwined. So I was kinda going off
the whole people and their books things, but it seems that we’ve turned the page.
Feel like we’ve kind of put that back on the shelf. Get it?
In preparation for writing this sketch, I watched a documentary on
stand-up that featured several comedians publicly declaring that using some-
one else’s material is not stealing and is perfectly acceptable because comedy
is primarily delivery, not the originality of your material. So before I get into
some jokes I’m…borrowing, let it be known that stand-up is probably the only
profession where plagiarism is not frowned upon. Anyway, one of my fellow
rhetoric majors, Harrison Thacker, is an up-and-coming rapper. And I went over
to his house the other day and walked in on him listening to his own cd. And I
said, “Harrison! Are you seriously listening to your own cd, bopping your own
head?” And he said, “Yeah, girl, this track is hot!” And I said, that’s like me sit-
ting in my own apartment, listening to a demo track of my own stand-up, going
‘Hahahahaha, these jokes are awesome!”
And that got me thinking just about everyday conversations I have that
are generally hilarious. I mean, it’s obvious that wherever I go, hilarity ensues,
but that’s beside the point. I was talking to a friend of mine a few months ago,
and we were talking about food we like, or don’t, for that matter. And I brought
up bagels, the one food I would probably marry if I could. Forget probably. It’s
on, bagels! But my friend was like, “Bagels are gross,” and I was like, “Have
you lost your mind?” And he went on to talk about how eating bagels is basi-
cally like going, “Hmm, what do I want to eat today? I think I’d like a nice
assortment of cardboard.” I’m just at a loss as to what could give someone such
a deep hatred for bagels. Bagels? Really? I’m convinced that my friend had a
negative encounter with a bagel before and has since turned his back on the little
packages of deliciousness. So I’ve come up with a couple scenarios that might
have happened. In this rst scenario, my friend, like me, has decided he would
like to marry a bagel. But the bagel’s like, “Nah, man, I’m kinda into bagels.” So
my friend, who does not take rejection well, decides to harbor a lifelong grudge
against all bagels. In the second scenario, my friend is at a party and is under
the inuence of hypnosis and is told under hypnosis that he can no longer enjoy
bagels or he will die. In the third and nal scenario, my friend, for whatever
reason, has LOST HIS MIND and thinks bagels are not delicious. Maybe he has