2023
AP
®
English Language
and Composition
Sample Student Responses
and Scoring Commentary
Set 2
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Inside:
Free-Response Question 3
Scoring Guidelines
Student Samples
Scoring Commentary
AP® English Language and Composition 2023 Scoring Guidelines
© 2023 College Board
Argument Essay 6 points
In a 2018 interview about the importance of collaboration, then United States Representative Carlos Curbelo stated: “If you’re trying to convince
someone that they need to get involved in an issue or perhaps change their thinking on an issue, trying to scare them is not always effective and can
actually sow resentment.”
Write an essay that argues your position on the extent to which Curbelo’s claim about persuading others is valid.
In your response you should do the following:
• Respond to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible position.
• Provide evidence to support your line of reasoning.
• Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
• Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.
AP® English Language and Composition 2023 Scoring Guidelines
© 2023 College Board
Reporting
Category
Scoring Criteria
Row A
Thesis
(0–1 points)
0 points
For any of the following:
• There is no defensible thesis.
• The intended thesis only restates the prompt.
• The intended thesis provides a summary of the issue with no
apparent or coherent claim.
• There is a thesis, but it does not respond to the prompt.
1 point
Responds to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible position.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Responses that do not earn this point:
• Only restate the prompt.
• Do not take a position, or the position is vague or must be inferred.
• State an obvious fact rather than making a claim that requires a
defense.
Responses that earn this point:
• Respond to the prompt by taking a position on the extent to which Curbelo’s claim
about persuading others is valid, rather than restating or rephrasing the prompt. Clearly
take a position rather than just stating that there are pros/cons.
Examples that do not earn this point:
Do not take a position
• “Sometimes presenting someone with information that frightens
them is effective in getting them to see your point of view and
sometimes this tactic backfires.”
Address the topic of the prompt but are not defensible—it is an
obvious fact stated as a claim
• “People can be persuaded by many things.”
Examples that earn this point:
Present a defensible position that responds to the prompt.
• “Former U.S. Representative Curbelo correctly points out that scare tactics are not
effective when trying to foster collaboration.”
• “Although trying to frighten someone into changing their mind might be considered
bullying in many instances, there are some situations where the only way to make
people see reason is to present them with the unpleasant, and often scary, truth.”
• “It’s interesting that Carlos Curbelo points out that trying to scare people into doing
what you want can foster resentment, because often the original attempt to scare
someone is a result of resentment—resentment that the other person doesn’t think the
same way you do—and that is never a good position upon which to develop a
collaborative relationship.”
Additional Notes:
• The thesis may be more than one sentence, provided the sentences are in close proximity.
• The thesis may be anywhere within the response.
• The thesis may establish a line of reasoning that structures the essay, but it needn’t do so to earn the thesis point.
• A thesis that meets the criteria can be awarded the point whether or not the rest of the response successfully supports that line of reasoning.
AP® English Language and Composition 2023 Scoring Guidelines
© 2023 College Board
Scoring Criteria
Evidence
AND
Commentary
(0–4 points)
0 points
Simply restates thesis (if
present), repeats provided
information, or offers
information irrelevant to the
prompt.
1 point
EVIDENCE:
Provides evidence that is
mostly general.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Summarizes the evidence
but does not explain how the
evidence supports the
argument.
2 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides some specific,
relevant evidence.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Explains how some of the
evidence relates to the
student’s argument, but no
line of reasoning is
established, or the line of
reasoning is faulty.
3 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides specific evidence to
support all claims in a line of
reasoning.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Explains how some of the
evidence supports a line of
reasoning.
4 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides specific evidence to
support all claims in a line of
reasoning.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Consistently explains how the
evidence supports a line of
reasoning.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Typical responses that earn
0 points:
• Are incoherent or do not
address the prompt.
• May be just opinion with
no evidence or evidence
that is irrelevant.
Typical responses that earn
1 point:
• Tend to focus on
summary of evidence
rather than specific
details.
Typical responses that earn
2 points:
• Consist of a mix of
specific evidence and
broad generalities.
• May contain some
simplistic, inaccurate, or
repetitive explanations
that don’t strengthen
the argument.
• May make one point well
but either do not make
multiple supporting
claims or do not
adequately support
more than one claim.
• Do not explain the
connections or
progression between the
student’s claims, so a
line of reasoning is not
clearly established.
Typical responses that earn
3 points:
• Uniformly offer evidence to
support claims.
• Focus on the importance of
specific details to build an
argument.
• Organize an argument as a
line of reasoning composed
of multiple supporting
claims.
• Commentary may fail to
integrate some evidence or
fail to support a key claim.
Typical responses that earn
4 points:
• Uniformly offer evidence to
support claims.
• Focus on the importance of
specific details to build an
argument.
• Organize and support an
argument as a line of
reasoning composed of
multiple supporting claims,
each with adequate evidence
that is clearly explained.
Additional Notes:
• Writing that suffers from grammatical and/or mechanical errors that interfere with communication cannot earn the fourth point in this row.
AP® English Language and Composition 2023 Scoring Guidelines
© 2023 College Board
Reporting
Category
Scoring Criteria
Row C
Sophistication
(0–1 points)
0 points
Does not meet the criteria for one point.
1 point
Demonstrates sophistication of thought and/or a complex understanding of the rhetorical
situation.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Responses that do not earn this point:
• Attempt to contextualize their argument, but such attempts
consist predominantly of sweeping generalizations (“In a world
where . . .” OR “Since the beginning of time . . .”).
• Only hint at or suggest other arguments (“While some may argue
that . . .” OR “Some people say . . .”).
• Use complicated or complex sentences or language that is
ineffective because it does not enhance the argument.
Responses that earn this point may demonstrate sophistication of thought and/or a
complex understanding of the rhetorical situation by doing any of the following:
1. Crafting a nuanced argument by consistently identifying and exploring complexities or
tensions.
2. Articulating the implications or limitations of an argument (either the student’s
argument or an argument related to the prompt) by situating it within a broader
context.
3. Making effective rhetorical choices that consistently strengthen the force and impact of
the student’s argument.
4. Employing a style that is consistently vivid and persuasive.
Additional Notes:
• This point should be awarded only if the sophistication of thought or complex understanding is part of the student’s argument, not merely a phrase or reference.
Sample 3A (1 of 3)
Sample 3A (2 of 3)
Sample 3A (3 of 3)
Sample 3B (1 of 2)
Sample 3B (2 of 2)
Sample 3C (1 of 2)
Sample 3C (2 of 2)
AP
®
English Language and Composition 2023 Scoring Commentary
© 2023 College Board.
Visit College Board on the web: collegeboard.org.
Question 3
Note: Student samples are quoted verbatim and may contain spelling and grammatical errors.
Overview
Students responding to this question were expected to read a quote about persuading others from a
2018 interview with Carlos Curbelo and then write an essay that argued their position on the extent
to which Curbelo’s claim about persuading others is valid. Students were expected to respond to the
prompt with a thesis that presented a defensible position; provide evidence to support their line of
reasoning; explain how the evidence supported their line of reasoning; and use appropriate grammar
and punctuation in communicating their argument.
As per the Course and Exam Description, students were expected to be able to select evidence to
develop and refine their claims, use appropriate approaches of organization and reasoning to support
their argument, and make stylistic choices that advance the argument.
Sample: 3A
Score: 1-4-1
Thesis (0–1) points: 1
The response concedes that fear can be a valuable motivator before presenting its defensible thesis
in paragraph 1: “However, using fear as a motivator or reasoning in attempting to change minds or
incite positive change rarely works. Attempting to persuade others through fear is rarely effective,
and can even sow resentment, inhibiting positive change from occurring.”
Evidence and Commentary (0–4 points): 4
The response supports its claims with evidence drawn from the student’s own life (paragraph 2) and
the history of nuclear proliferation during the Cold War (paragraph 3). Both main claims are
developed using specific details. In paragraph 2, the response explains how the student’s parents
encouraged doing “the right thing” using fear of consequences. Their efforts had the opposite of the
intended effect: “It didn’t work. If anything, their trying to scare me … only made me more
determined.” In paragraph 3, the fear-driven development of nuclear weapons is shown to have a
destructive rather than a protective result: “The fear of nuclear war and massive destruction brought
about a huge spike in the production of the nuclear weapons that had incited the problem.”
The explanations of the evidence are clear, as seen in paragraph 2’s discussion of the importance of
“reasoning and explanations.” Paragraph 3 delves into not only the immediate impact of “fear of
death from nukes” but also the “suspicion and resentment” that resulted, contrasting that result with
the “slight compromise” and decreased “levels of fear” in the 1960s, which in turn “led to even more
cooperation in the 1990s.” In both examples, the response consistently explains how the chosen
evidence contributes to the argument. A clear line of reasoning links the two examples to the main
claim about ways that fear can be an “unsuccessful” motivator.
Sophistication (0–1 points): 1
While the response does not situate the argument within a broader context, the style is vivid and
persuasive. Paragraph 2 provides an example of the response’s persuasive style: “If reasoning and
explanations were given when what I perceived as completely unfair and unnecessary rules were
told to me, perhaps I would have been more receptive.” Paragraph 3 provides another example, while
AP
®
English Language and Composition 2023 Scoring Commentary
© 2023 College Board.
Visit College Board on the web: collegeboard.org.
Question 3 (continued)
also identifying a complexity in the historical situation under discussion: “The fear of nuclear war
and massive destruction brought about a huge spike in the production of the nuclear weapons that
had incited the problem.” The response explores the complexities of how fear inhibits cooperation.
Paragraph 3 moves from how fear leads to resentment, leading to more fear, and then explores how
this cycle can be stopped and a different one started: “slight compromise” then leads to “more
cooperation.” The paragraph then accounts for why this is: “a wish for a better future and a
willingness to cooperate with others in working towards a common goal.”
Sample: 3B
Score: 1-3-0
Thesis (0–1 points): 1
Paragraph 1 as a whole functions as the defensible thesis: “While trying to support your own
argument, using scare tactics may prove to be beneficial. Although it allows your thoughts to be
manipulated in a less positive way than some might desire.”
Evidence and Commentary (0–4 points): 3
In paragraphs 2 and 3, the response provides sufficient evidence to support its argument. The
example in paragraph 2 is hypothetical but specific, presenting the possibility of “getting screamed
@ after practice, staying after to take everything down, and losing your starting position” as fear-
based motivators for an athlete. The evidence in paragraph 3 about “CO
2
being emitted into the
atmosphere” also supports the claim about the potential effectiveness of scare tactics.
The commentary about “failing to see the bigger picture” in paragraph 3 supports the line of
reasoning, explaining that “[t]he people who fail to care for the earth might only be able to be
convinced if they fear for what is coming, because without that fear of messing up, we wouldn’t be
able to hold anybody to certain standards.” The sports example in paragraph 2 is not as uniformly
and thoroughly developed. For example, the commentary about the sports example does not
integrate the evidence to support the claim: “Just like in sports, using fright as a tactic can influence
change.”
Sophistication (0–1): 0
While the response has a clear focus that fear can be an appropriate tactic to “be resorted to if
nothing else seems to work” (paragraph 4), it does not demonstrate a consistently persuasive or
vivid style. It does not explore complexities or tensions about the topic. Despite using examples that
are both personal and worldly, the response also does not situate the argument itself within a
broader context.
Sample: 3C
Score: 1-1-0
Thesis (0–1 points): 1
The response includes a defensible thesis is at the end of paragraph 1: “Even though there may be a
difference in opinion, attempting to scare an individual is not an effective method and can cause
further issues.”
AP
®
English Language and Composition 2023 Scoring Commentary
© 2023 College Board.
Visit College Board on the web: collegeboard.org.
Question 3 (continued)
Evidence and Commentary (0–4 points): 1
The response makes several assertions about collaboration; for example, in paragraph 3 it notes,
“Collaboration can also heavily effect work flow as well as reduce motivation of others if there is no
cooperation between everyone.” However, it does not explain how the views expressed or the
evidence for them relates to the thesis. The evidence itself is mostly general with broad generalities
about “animators” and the “engineering field.”
Sophistication (0–1 points): 0
There is no attempt to explore complexities and tensions, and the response does not discuss the
implications or limitations of the argument. It mentions a “difference of opinion” in the introduction,
but this is merely a phrase and not indicative of any consistent sophistication of thought. The style is
not particularly vivid or persuasive.