2021
AP
®
English Language
and Composition
Sample Student Responses
and Scoring Commentary
Inside:
Free Response Question 3
• • Scoring Guideline
• • Student Samples
• • Scoring Commentary
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AP® English Language and Composition 2021 Scoring Guidelines
© 2021 College Board
Argument Essay 6 points
Many people spend long hours trying to achieve perfection in their personal or professional lives. Similarly, people often deman
d perfection from
others, creating expectations that may be challenging to live up to. In contrast, some people think perfection is not attainable or desirable.
Write an essay that argues your position on the value of striving for perfection.
In your response you should do the following:
• Respond to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible position.
• Provide evidence to support your line of reasoning.
• Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
• Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.
AP® English Language and Composition 2021 Scoring Guidelines
© 2021 College Board
Reporting
Category
Scoring Criteria
Row A
Thesis
(0-1 points)
0 points
For any of the following:
• There is no defensible thesis.
• The intended thesis only restates the prompt.
• The intended thesis provides a summary of the issue with no
apparent or coherent claim.
• There is a thesis, but it does not respond to the prompt.
1 point
Responds to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible position.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Responses that do not earn this point:
• Only restate the prompt.
• Do not take a position, or the position is vague or must be inferred.
• State an obvious fact rather than making a claim that requires a
defense.
Examples that do not earn this point:
Do not take a position
•
“In this world, there are those who won’t be satisfied unless
everything is perfect, and those who are perfectly happy to let things
be as they are.”
Address the topic of the prompt but are not defensible—it is an
obvious fact stated as a claim
•
“Perfection is something that many people strive for, but very few
actually achieve.”
Responses that earn this point:
Respond to the prompt by taking a position on the value of striving for perfection, rather
than restating or rephrasing the prompt. Clearly take a position rather than just stating that
there are pros/cons.
Examples that earn this point:
Present a defensible position that responds to the prompt.
• “Perfection is something that is almost impossible to reach, so it’s not worth the effort
to try to achieve it.”
• “While the outcome may not always be successful, the struggle to achieve perfection
can yield many benefits along the way.”
• “Although it may be fine to set high standards and expect perfection from yourself, it’s
unrealistic to believe that other people will be willing to put in what it takes to reach the
same levels of perfection.”
Additional Notes:
• The thesis may be more than one sentence, provided the sentences are in close proximity.
• The thesis may be anywhere within the response.
• The thesis may establish a line of reasoning that structures the essay, but it needn’t do so to earn the thesis point.
• A thesis that meets the criteria can be awarded the point whether or not the rest of the response successfully supports that line of reasoning.
AP® English Language and Composition 2021 Scoring Guidelines
© 2021 College Board
Reporting
Category
Scoring Criteria
Row B
Evidence
AND
Commentary
(0-4 points)
0 points
Simply restates thesis (if
present), repeats provided
information, or offers
information irrelevant to the
prompt.
1 point
EVIDENCE:
Provides evidence that is
mostly general.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Summarizes the evidence
but does not explain how the
evidence supports the
argument.
2 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides some specific,
relevant evidence.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Explains how some of the
evidence relates to the
student’s argument, but no
line of reasoning is
established, or the line of
reasoning is faulty.
3 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides specific evidence to
support all claims in a line of
reasoning.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Explains how some of the
evidence supports a line of
reasoning.
4 points
EVIDENCE:
Provides specific evidence to
support all claims in a line of
reasoning.
AND
COMMENTARY:
Consistently explains how the
evidence supports a line of
reasoning.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Typical responses that earn
0 points:
•
Are incoherent or do not
address the prompt.
• May be just opinion with
no evidence or evidence
that is irrelevant.
Typical responses that earn
1 point:
• Tend to focus on
summary of evidence
rather than specific
details.
Typical responses that earn
2 points:
• Consist of a mix of
specific evidence and
broad generalities.
• May contain some
simplistic, inaccurate, or
repetitive explanations
that don’t strengthen
the argument.
• May make one point well
but either do not make
multiple supporting
claims or do not
adequately support
more than one claim.
• Do not explain the
connections or
progression between the
student’s claims, so a
line of reasoning is not
clearly established.
Typical responses that earn 3
points:
• Uniformly offer evidence to
support claims.
• Focus on the importance of
specific details to build an
argument.
• Organize an argument as a
line of reasoning composed
of multiple supporting
claims.
•
Commentary may fail to
integrate some evidence or
fail to support a key claim.
Typical responses that earn 4
points:
• Uniformly offer evidence to
support claims.
• Focus on the importance of
specific details to build an
argument.
• Organize and support an
argument as a line of
reasoning composed of
multiple supporting claims,
each with adequate evidence
that is clearly explained.
Additional Notes:
• Writing that suffers from grammatical and/or mechanical errors that interfere with communication cannot earn the fourth point in this row.
AP® English Language and Composition 2021 Scoring Guidelines
© 2021 College Board
Reporting
Category
Scoring Criteria
Row C
Sophistication
(0-1 points)
0 points
Does not meet the criteria for one point.
1 point
Demonstrates sophistication of thought and/or a complex understanding of the rhetorical
situation.
Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Responses that do not earn this point:
• Attempt to contextualize their argument, but such attempts
consist predominantly of sweeping generalizations (“In a world
where…” OR “Since the beginning of time…”).
• Only hint at or suggest other arguments (“While some may argue
that…” OR “Some people say…”).
•
Use complicated or complex sentences or language that is
ineffective because it does not enhance the argument.
Responses that earn this point may demonstrate sophistication of thought and/or a
complex understanding of the rhetorical situation by doing any of the following:
1. Crafting a nuanced argument by consistently identifying and exploring complexities or
tensions.
2. Articulating the implications or limitations of an argument (either the student’s
argument or an argument related to the prompt) by situating it within a broader
context.
3. Making effective rhetorical choices that consistently strengthen the force and impact of
the student’s argument.
4. Employing a style that is consistently vivid and persuasive.
Additional Notes:
• This point should be awarded only if the sophistication of thought or complex understanding is part of the student’s argument, not merely a phrase or reference.
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AP
®
English Language and Composition 2021 Scoring Commentary
© 2021 College Board.
Visit College Board on the web: collegeboard.org.
Question 3
Note: Student samples are quoted verbatim and may contain spelling and grammatical errors.
Overview
The argument prompt for this year’s exam asked students to write an essay that argued their position on the
value of striving for perfection. In their responses they were expected to respond to the prompt with a thesis that
presented a defensible position, provide evidence to support their line of reasoning, explain how the evidence
supported their line of reasoning, and use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating their
argument. The skills expected to be demonstrated in this writing included 2.A, 4.A, 4.B, 4.C, 6.A, 6.B, 6.C, 8.A,
8.B, and 8.C.
The prompt was highly accessible to the students. In the words of the Question Leader, this prompt allowed
te
st takers to demonstrate “how much the topic was highly relevant to their current realities: pressures of the
school system, expectations of family, competition in sports (at both professional and high school levels),
messages found on social media, impact of the coronavirus, challenges of sibling rivalry” were among the
examples test takers used. The Question Leader continues, “Students connected to the topic in surprising,
powerful, and beautiful ways. That level of connection extended to even the lower-scoring essays. Even
responses that struggled with the abstraction of ‘perfection,’ could still articulate a position.” Students were
expected to offer specific evidence and, most importantly, demonstrate that they could develop a clear line of
reasoning that was logically organized and cohesive in presentation with all pieces working together in service
of their argument. Stronger essays used commentary to explain how the evidence supported the larger claim.
Sample: 3A
Score: 1-4-1
Thesis (0–1
) points: 1
The thesis, which is stated at the end of paragraph 1, takes a nuanced position on the value of striving for
perfection: “While there are drawbacks to being encouraged to be perfect from a young age, perfection is
something to strive for especially in one’s professional life, although there should be more room for mistakes in
one’s personal life.” This thesis presents a defensible position that is developed in the rest of the response, and
its slight cumbersomeness is acceptable due to the draft nature of the response.
Evidence and Commentary (0–4 points): 4
The response uniformly offers specific and wide-ranging evidence to support all its claims. The details about
McDonald’s, Edison, and SpaceX are full, and the link to “a 1950s or 1960s insane asylum patient” in paragraph
4 is particularly well integrated. The student consistently explains how the evidence provided supports a line of
reasoning, making use of cause and effect to show the impact of not seeking perfection (e.g., “Had McDonald’s
placed more of a focus on perfection within their workplace the effects of this incident would have been reduced.
Within professions it is often very important that one pays attention to details to ensure their job is done correctly
and safely” in paragraph 2). The response is well organized, with transitions effectively demonstrating how all
the response’s pieces work together in a coherent line of reasoning (e.g., “Not strving for perfection can have
dangerous consequences as well,” “Striving for perfection not only helps save lives and avoid potential million
dollar lawsuits but can lead to the creation of something new,” and “In more recent times”).
Sophistication (0–1 points): 1
The response explores the complexities of the topic when, after establishing all the benefits to perfection, it
pivots to a thorough discussion of how although “perfection has proven useful in many professional settings,
its practicality in one’s personal life is much lower.” In exploring aspects of success and of safety in the
AP
®
English Language and Composition 2021 Scoring Commentary
Question 3 (continued)
business world as well as problems within the life of the individual, the student situates the argument within a
broader context.
Sample: 3B
Score: 1-3-0
Thesis (0–1 points): 1
The response makes a defensible claim in the second and third sentences of paragraph 1. This multisentence
thesis distinguishes between perfection itself and the act of striving for it: “The value of perfection is none
because it simply doesn’t exist. However, the act of striving for perfection holds much value.”
Evidence and Commentary (0–4 points): 3
The response holds to its thesis as it defends its two claims in a line of reasoning that runs throughout the
response. The student uniformly offers evidence to support the claims, providing specific details in paragraph
2 on their personal experience striving for perfection in school and sports (e.g., “I did not believe a 98% in a
class was good enough” and “I scored 2 goals for my team but was ultimately not satisfied because I couldn’t
reach a hat-trick”). The commentary does not integrate the sibling and workplace examples in paragraph 3 as
well as it does the evidence in paragraph 2, but the exploration of the student’s personal experience is solid,
and the structure of paragraph 2, bookended by quotes from two pop singers to demonstrate the shift in
thinking tied to the thesis, demonstrates an organized approach to developing the argument.
Sophistication (0–1): 0
The use of the student’s personal experience is compelling, but the response overall does not demonstrate a
consistently vivid and persuasive style. While the thesis, with its double claim, is perhaps more nuanced than
usual, the response does not consistently explore any complexities or tensions tied to those claims; and while
the response does briefly touch on the example of “the workplace,” it ultimately does not situate the argument
within any broader context.
Sample: 3C
Score: 1-1-0
Thesis (0–1 points): 1
The thesis is a single, comma splice sentence that comprises all of paragraph 1. It does present a defensible
claim: “Achieving perfection is not possible, it creates expectations that no one can live up to.”
Evidence and Commentary (0–4 points): 1
The evidence provided in the response is mostly general, with references to a “‘perfect person’” and the
“perfect student” but with very little explanation or commentary to link the evidence to the argument (e.g., “my
whole life I wanted to be the perfect student, soccer player, and daughter. Life, however, does not work that
way”). Much of the commentary is comprised of unsubstantiated claims or platitudes (e.g., “Failing happens to
the best of us”) and does not succeed in supporting the little evidence provided.
Sophistication (0–1 points): 0
The response’s style is not vivid or persuasive (e.g., “Expectations of perfect are a lot of money, nice clothes,
big house, etc.”). The response itself demonstrates a simplistic approach that does not explore complexities or
tension; rather, it merely summarizes ideas about expectations and perfection.
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